I’ve got some breaking news to deliver to you all. It comes with a heavy heart that I must announce that the lowest of the low, the snivelling, poor first touch winger that is Alex Iwobi has left the club. Top four rivals, Sunderland snapped him up over deadline day for £7.5m.
Bayern Munich tried to push a £22m move over the line for Olivier Giroud in the early hours but the deadline got the better of us unfortunately.
ARSENAL 5 | Lozano 14’, Draxler 35’ 45’, Bale 42’, Cazorla 47’
Lozano blitzing through the Hull defence,
Tottenham’s woes on the other side of town without pretence,
Because we’ve got Bale,
And their defence is stale,
Julian’s at the double,
Bursting that little Spurs bubble,
Whilst we humiliate Hull,
Your fans are in tears of boredom for it’s so dull,
Down at the Lane,
You’re in the deepest pain,
Counting down on the calendar until St. Totteringham’s Day,
Wishing that you were locked up away,
In Guantanamo Bay,
As we slay,
This Premier League,
No doubt you’ve got that fatigue,
Outside of the top four,
Not able to score,
A goal or a girl:
because you’re a Tottenham fan.
CHELSEA 1 | Hazard 17’
ARSENAL 2 | Bale 65’, Bellerin 90’ (Draxler sent off)
Fuck off Chelsea.
BOURNEMOUTH 0:1 ARSENAL (Lozano 53) FA Cup Fifth Round
ARSENAL 1:0 SEVILLA (Cazorla 53) UEFA Champions League Round of 16, first leg
SOUTHAMPTON 2:0 ARSENAL Premier League
LIVERPOOL 1:4 ARSENAL (Bale 18, 49, Draxler 55, Tolisso 71) Premier League
MANCHESTER UNITED 1:1 ARSENAL (3-4 on penalties) (Tah 27) FA Cup Quarter Final
SEVILLA 1:1 ARSENAL (1-2 on aggregate) (Lozano 83) UEFA Champions League Round of 16, second leg
I decided to take a break from my much-maligned poetry. Unpublished so-called “anti-semitic” poems were unconvered by a set of fans who call themselves ‘YIDS’ so make of that what you will. In light of this was a plan of reform, an exit plan from the Emirates Stadium and an exit plan of what I had become to have seen as ‘Brexit Britain’. We put in some Brexit style performances in the cups against Bournemouth and Sevilla: scrappy and unlikeable but they get the job done. (that analogy might have fallen off a cliff with its third attribute) Two 53rd minute winners was followed by a capitulation on the south coast.
Manchester City and Liverpool were breathing down our necks, uninspired clubs still adamant of their own four-man defensive formation. Four defenders against six attackers (yes i’m counting Gareth Bale as two men here), just doesn’t work. We proved that at Anfield, Old Trafford & the Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan: ugly goals with beautiful consequences.